Another random thought about Episode III

[missautopsy]

Yes, it's a given fact that if you are over the age of seven, you have an issue with Jar Jar Binks. Thankfully, Lucas abbrieviated his appearances in Episode III to a mere background character. (Hey, Georgie boy, we owe ye one for that!).

This gets me thinking...(tripartite will definitely wonder if I'm firing on all thrusters now)
Firstly, was there a *need* for Jar Jar in The Phantom Menace? Comic relief is a nice touch when used properly; I think we can all agree on that, but I didn't find Jar Jar to be remotely cute, funny or necessary. This leaves me wondering who could have been thrown into the mix as the perfect sidekick.

Here are my choices in no particular order:
- Howard the Duck - It's not nice to fool with the dark overlords!
- Twiki - a pint-sized C-3PO, but less gay
- Crow T. Robot and Tom Servo (need I write more?)
- Bender (Hey, bite my shiny metal ass.)
- Gary Coleman (he could use the work...)
- Deep Roy or Majai from the remake of the Island of Doctor Moreau because, damn, there just aren't enough freaky midgets in the new episodes.
- The army of Fembots from Austin Powers. (Nothing spells 'doom' like toxic-gas firing breasts)
- Comic Book Guy [Egad -- a maniac cutting a swath of destruction! This is a job for
the Green Lantern, Thundra, or possibly... Ghost Rider.] [ Lucite hardening...must end life in classic Lorne Greene pose from "Battlestar Galactica. Best ... death ... ever!] How could he not be a valuable addition?
- My wiener dog, Trixie. Because wiener dogs are cute and fearsome.

Comments

[tripartite.livejournal.com]

Really? I hadn't noticed. ;)

I didn't state Howard was his biggest, just that it was a disaster. I must agree, I think I'd have liked Howard better in the prequels than Jar Jar.

Twiki was just the right height... *ponders*

I guess my point is I don't need anyone to heckle for me. I'm quite capable of doing it myself thankyouverymuch.

He' played R2-D2, I'm certain he could be a stunk cock.

Yeah, someone's got to hold the camera in those extreme close up views. *nods*

*sigh* Mmm...slave girl fembots. /homer_simpson

I think Jay would make a good Maul. I think Kevin would make a better Emperor.

All I can say about that last bit is: whiskey, tango, foxtrot.

[missautopsy.livejournal.com]

Both Twiki and 3PO were built to serve...height, of course, being a factor dependent upon their pleasure-seeking master's mode of droid orgy... *nudge, nudge, wink, wink...say no more!* ;-)

Jay as Maul: now I really like that idea! But, I think I'd fear his double-edged saber. Snooch to the booch! Hmm...Silent Bob as the Emperor...I'm not sure. Bluntman is far too easy-going. I'm thinking Banky for that job...he's got the right attitude for it. Sanctimonious and ambitious; a right bastard.

[tripartite.livejournal.com]

Or is that to be "served"? Darth Vader was much taller than Buck Rogers.

You should see Trooper Clerks, Uncensored.